


Touch of Remorse

by phoenixreal



Category: Bleach
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Depression, Exile, Human Experimentation, Illegal Activities, M/M, Mad Scientists, Mental Health Issues, Mental Institutions, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Non-Consensual Kissing, Obsession, Rape, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Remorse, Shinigami, Soul Society Messed Up, Stalking, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-16
Updated: 2019-08-10
Packaged: 2020-06-29 20:44:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19838182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenixreal/pseuds/phoenixreal
Summary: Canon divergent post Fullbringer Arc. After going off to Tokyo for school, Ichigo deals with the long term effects of depression that started after his power loss. Little does he know, someone is watching him, and waiting. When that someone is given the opportunity to have what he wants, he takes it, to Ichigo's detriment. Missing from the mental health ward he was placed in, Uryuu and Chad are trying to find him.





	1. A Stalker and a Scientist

**Author's Note:**

> I blame Appleciderr for the plot bunny.  
> Esen and Takahiro are SapphireTou's brain children.

Rei Kurata met Ichigo Kurosaki at Tokyo University where they both went to school. From the very start, he was interested in the younger student. He thought he was unique in how he didn’t care that his hair was loud and drew attention to him. He was also secretive, and that intrigued Rei. He wanted to know his secrets. He wanted to know everything about him.

But he couldn’t approach him. Instead, he watched from afar. He had pictures he’d taken, and he had voice clips he’d recorded. Some would call it a bit stalkerish, and perhaps it was, but he didn’t care. It made him happy to sit and go through his photos of the other student. They would often lead to sessions of self-pleasure that remained etched into his memories. If only he could talk to him, he thought to himself. If only…

He didn’t even know what he liked as far as partners go because he never seemed to be interested in anyone. He thought perhaps he had a girlfriend or something wherever he came from. He wasn’t sure where he had lived, but he knew he wasn’t from Tokyo from what information he had gathered on him. He often kept tabs on when he came and went from his dorm, sometimes to the detriment of his own sleep.

Perhaps that was why the first time he saw Ichigo leave in the black outfit, he was surprised. He moved way too fast to follow, and Rei wasn’t sure what to think about it. He tried taking a picture of him, but he couldn’t see anything on the photo image after he took it. At first, he thought it had to be lack of sleep or something, but then, the more he watched, the more it happened, and then he began to notice others in those same black outfits now and then. He would catch one fighting a white-faced monster that no one else appeared to see besides him and those in the black outfits.

One night, he stood outside the dorm building and watched his window for him to leave again. He was startled when someone put a hand on his shoulder and spoke.

“You see them, don’t you?”

He turned around and was facing a man slightly older and slightly taller than him. He had sandy blond hair pulled back at the nape of his neck and piercing blue eyes. But they were an odd color of blue, nothing like he’d ever seen before. He was wearing one of the black outfits like Ichigo changed into, and like the others he saw now and then.

“Who are you?” he stammered, taking a step back.

“Why, I’m Hogai Yagami. And you’re Rei Kurata. You’ve got interest in someone I have interest in, it seems,” he said, smiling slightly.

“What do you mean?” he asked, frowning. He could only think of one person if that was the case, and that was the one he was here watching.

“Ichigo Kurosaki. I’ve seen you’ve had your eyes on him for a while now. What do you watch him for?” he asked, eyes boring into him in the night.

Rei swallowed and shook his head. “I don’t know what you mean,” he tried.

“Don’t deny it. I’ve seen you following him around for the last two weeks. You aren’t as stealthy as you think you are, dear Rei. Now, the question is, why?”

Rei shifted uncomfortably and looked away. “I just like him.” It didn’t dawn on him to ask why this other guy had also been following Ichigo around the last two weeks.

“Hmm, but for some reason you don’t approach him. Are you afraid?” Yagami asked.

“I’m not afraid of anything!” Rei snapped, not liking the implication that he feared anything at all.

“I see. Well, I have an interest in Kurosaki-san, and if you wanted to cooperate with me you could have a chance to get close to him. One on one just like you want,” Yagami said and Rei hesitated. He didn’t quite trust this man, but what he was offering was indeed what he wanted more than anything.

“What do you want me to do?” he finally asked.

“I need to get Kurosaki-san in the hospital so my people can see to him. You’ve seen him wear these black outfits like this. He’s special, and I investigate special people like him. I’m a scientist and a doctor of sorts. A long time ago, I lived somewhere far away, but I’ve been in Tokyo for a while now. And since I’ve been here, I’ve worked with a lot of people like you, that can see the monsters and the ones in the black outfits.” He smiled, tilting his head to the side. “You can easily help me.”

“I don’t understand what you want me to do,” Rei said.

“While he’s home, call the police on him and tell them that you believe he’s dangerous to himself and others. That he’s going to hurt someone or hurt himself. He’s your friend and you’re worried about him and don’t want him doing something he’ll regret. They’ll take him to the hospital, and I’ll take it from there,” Yagami told him, still with a subtle smile on his face.

Rei thought about it for a minute then shook his head. “I don’t see how that helps me.”

“Oh, it will, I promise you that. You just have to give it time. You’ll be very pleased with the results and I promise you access to him as much as you like, for anything you like,” he said with a wink.

Rei’s eyes widened and he blushed, turning away from him for a moment. “Alright, I’ll do it. But how do I know this will work?”

“Trust me,” Yagami said. “It will work exactly as I have planned.”

-oooooo-OOOOOO-oooooo-

Two weeks later, Ichigo came home late to find his roommate gone for the night. He was tired and wanted nothing more than to sleep. It had been a long week at school, and he was feeling a bit down. He stood in the bathroom and stared at his reflection, seeing the signs of sleeplessness that were etched into his face lately. His depression had been getting a little out of hand the last few weeks, and even with his attempts to keep himself busy by hunting hollows, he was feeling it. He opened the cabinet and took out the small pill bottle. He shook it, sighing, not even sure that the stupid things did anything for him, but he took the medicine anyway just like the doctor told him to do.

He sighed, shutting the medicine cabinet and went back out into the small room. Ever since he lost his powers a few years ago, he’d had trouble on and off with depression. Most of the time, he fought through it just fine, but when his powers were returned, it wasn’t the same. Knowing everything that had happened and what had gone on with Soul Society, it just was completely different to him. Maybe it was that, or just the depression he couldn’t quite shake. He sighed, about to fall into his bed when there was a rather loud knock on the door.

He frowned, turning toward it and wondering who would be coming to his room at this time of night. If his roommate had lost his keys, he surely would have texted first. He opened the door to find two police officers standing there. He swallowed convulsively, wondering what was going on.

“Um, hello?” he said, looking between them.

“There’s been a credible threat of violence reported. Are you Ichigo Kurosaki?” one of them, with short, trim black hair said.

“I am, but I don’t understand—”

“Come with us,” the second one, this one with buzzed off hair, said.

“Wait, you can’t just come up here and demand I leave with you without explaining things!” he said before he thought better of it.

“You’re being taken to the hospital for a mental health evaluation to determine if you are a danger to yourself or others right now,” the first on said, eyes narrowing at him. “Now, are you going to come quietly?”

“Danger to myself or others? I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Ichigo tried, stepping back.

One of them stepped forward through the door and grabbed him by the arm. Ichigo almost panicked a little because this had never happened to him before. What was he supposed to do? The hospital? He swallowed and shook his head, despite his brain telling him to just go with them quietly. He couldn’t do that; it wasn’t in him.

“Listen, now, there’s no reason for me to have to go anywhere!” he tried to pull his arm away, but the guy had a good grip on him.

Ichigo knew he could get away if he really wanted to. Of course, he could. But if he did that, what would happen? He’d be a fugitive and running away from the police. That would certainly put a damper on his intentions to become a doctor in the future. So even though he didn’t want to go, he was soon being pulled along between the two officers out of the building. Luckily it was late, and no one was around, but perhaps that wasn’t so lucky now that he thought of it.

As they came out toward where the police car was sitting in the parking lot, Ichigo saw another man standing there watching. He didn’t know him at all, but he looked like a college student. He had short, undercut black hair and was about the same height as Ichigo from what he could tell. He was wearing a t-shirt and jeans and had round rimmed glasses on.

“Ichigo!” he said. “You don’t have to worry now; they’ll take care of you!”

“What? Who are you? I don’t know you. What’s that mean?” Ichigo asked as the officer opened the back door of the police car.

“You don’t have to lie anymore, Ichigo. They’ll take good care of you!” he continued.

“Wait!” Ichigo tried to stop the officer from putting him in the car. “Who the hell is this guy? I don’t know him!”

“Just get in the car,” the officer said and shoved him in, slamming the door shut.

Ichigo stared in disbelief as this guy he’d never seen waved at him like he was some sort of old friend of his. “But I don’t know him!”

“Just keep quiet,” the other police officer said as he started the car and pulled out.

The next couple hours were frustrating to Ichigo. He tried, repeatedly, to get anyone to listen to him that he had no idea what was going on. No one wanted to listen to him. Just continued to say stuff about him wanting to hurt himself. He denied it every time. Then someone brought up the anti-depressants he was on, and he didn’t know what to say. He told them he’d been taking them without a problem for several months. They said his friend had reported him wanting to commit violence on others and himself, and he tried to tell them that he didn’t know that guy at all, so he had no idea what was going on. They didn’t believe him though.

“Please, let me call my pop,” he begged them.

“We have to do our evaluation before you can make calls,” the nurse said. “The doctor will be in to see you soon.”

“Look, I don’t know why I’m here. I’m not suicidal!” he said.

“You’re obviously agitated. Would you like something to help you calm down?” she asked.

Ichigo sighed. “I don’t need anything to calm down!” he snapped at her.

She arched a brow at him before she left. He huffed a deep sigh and flopped back on the hospital bed. He was in a plain room with nothing really in it, and the windows faced the nurse’s station. He ran a hand through his hair and waited for this doctor to show up. He wanted them to get here so he could go back to the dorm before it got too late. As it was, he wasn’t going to get near enough sleep. He closed his eyes though and let himself float for a little while because he was starting to feel the need to rest.

He jerked awake when he heard the door and looked up to see a woman he didn’t know in a white doctor’s coat standing there. He heaved a sigh of relief. Finally, he could get out of here. He’d have to call a cab home, but whatever, he figured.

“Kurosaki-kun,” she said with a smile.

Ichigo was immediately put on edge by her already. “Yeah, look, can we get this done so I can leave already?” he asked.

“Why do you want to leave so quickly?” she asked, grabbing the rolling stool and sitting down on it.

“I’m tired and I want to go to sleep,” he said, sitting up a little more. “I want to be in my own bed.”

“I can understand that, but do you know why you’re here?” she asked, frowning a little.

“Um, yeah, the police came and got me. They said something about me wanting to hurt myself, which is wrong. I don’t want t hurt myself, I never have,” he said, watching her intently.

“Your friend didn’t seem to feel that was true,” she said, watching him with equal intensity.

“That guy that was outside? I don’t know who that guy is!” he said, crossing his arms. “I’ve never seen him before tonight.”

“Is that a fact?” she said, and it was obvious that she didn’t believe him at all.

“Yes! I don’t know him! I’d never seen him before tonight, and I can’t even tell you his name!” Ichigo was getting very frustrated by this whole thing.

“You seem agitated,” she pointed out.

“Of course, I’m agitated! Some strange guy apparently called to police on me saying I was suicidal, and you all won’t believe what I’m saying when I tell you the truth!” he growled, glaring at her.

She didn’t say anything for a moment but looked at the chart she was holding. She looked back up. “You’ve been seeing a psychiatrist for depression for the last several months and have been on medications. Do you think you’ve improved since taking your medications?” she asked.

Ichigo swallowed and sighed through his nose. “Things have gotten a bit better. I mean, I still get depressed, but it isn’t as bad as it was.”

“Your psychiatrist worries about you showing psychotic symptoms,” she stated without much expression on her face.

“She what?” Ichigo asked, frowning. “I’ve never had psychotic symptoms!”

“Hmm, she has indicated that she has you diagnosed with psychotic depression, and possible bipolar disorder. You are highly susceptible to psychosis,” she said.

“That-that’s ridiculous! I’m not psychotic!”

“Ichigo, there is nothing wrong with psychosis symptoms. Having them is not a bad thing. They can include difficulty concentrating, depressed mood, sleeping poorly or too much, anxiety, withdrawal from family and friends, and a few other issues that your psychiatrist has noted. She also noted you had a history of hallucinations when you were a child,” she said, looking down at the clipboard again.

“That? When I was a kid? That has nothing to do with now! I told her that about why I was lonely as a kid, and in confidence!” Ichigo said, sitting up sharply and frowning at her.

“Kurosaki-kun, you need to calm down, or I will have someone come in and give you a sedative,” she told him.

“I don’t need a sedative, and I don’t need to be here! I’m leaving!” he said, tossing the covers aside and moving to get up.

It was a bit of a blur, the next few seconds. The doctor moved and pressed a button by the door and then there were two larger men there, blocking his way out. He stood there confused for a second until they both grabbed onto him. He struggled to get away from them but then the nurse was back, injecting something into his arm why the two men held him. He couldn’t help but fight the grip they had on him but after a few minutes, whatever they’d given him was working because he was feeling extremely relaxed and sleepy. The world blinked out of existence for a second and he was staring up at the ceiling tiles as they moved.

Again, the world seemed to skip, and he was in a new room. This one, clean and white and just as empty as the one before it. He was feeling a little less out of it, now though. He sat up slowly, rubbing his head for a minute trying to put together exactly what had just happened to him.

Some guy he’d never met had called the police on him. They had taken him to the hospital and now he’d been committed to a psychiatric ward. How was he supposed to get out of this? He couldn’t even leave his human body without his badge, which would have been with his clothes and they’d changed him into some sort of blue colored pajamas. He stood up, a little shaky on his feet and walked out into the hallway, following it down to an open area where other people were sitting around tables. He realized it was morning already and he had apparently slept through the night. Just what the hell was he supposed to do now?

-oooooo-OOOOOO-oooooo-

“What do you mean he was committed?” Uryū asked, not believing what he was hearing from Orihime.

“That’s what his dad said,” she said with a frown. “I guess they said he was suicidal or something, so he’s in the hospital now in Tokyo.”

Uryū looked from her to Chad and shook his head. “Ichigo isn’t suicidal.”

“Well, apparently it was enough to get him committed to the ward, so I don’t know what all happened. Kurosaki-san said that they called him earlier this week and said that Ichigo would be allowed to call home soon. They didn’t know yet how long he’d be there,” Orihime told them.

“Something’s not right here,” Uryū said, still not believing what he was hearing.

“Ichigo wouldn’t try to take his own life,” Chad told them

“You’d have to talk to Kurosaki-san for more about it. I just know that’s what he told me when I called,” Orihime said sadly. “If Kurosaki-kun was feeling that bad he should have talked to one of us.”

“No, I don’t believe this,” Uryū said, pulling out his phone and dialing Ichigo’s father. After a few minutes, the phone was answered.

“Hello, Uryū,” he said. “I take it you heard about Ichigo?”

“What’s going on? Why would he be committed to a psych ward?” Uryū demanded.

“It seems a friend of his called the police because he was afraid Ichigo was going to do something drastic. They said he was a danger to himself and others, but I can’t see my son being a danger to anyone except maybe himself. He wouldn’t hurt anyone else, I’m sure of it. He’s had some struggles since his power loss, though.” Isshin sighed. “I just wish I’d seen it sooner.”

“But have you talked to him yourself?” Uryū wanted to know.

“Well,” he started. “He’s been asleep when I’ve called so far, so I haven’t had a chance to talk to him directly.”

Uryū frowned, looking at Chad. “Where’s he at? I’m going to see him.”

“Oh, okay, I haven’t been able to get away from the clinic here to go myself, but that would be good for him, I think.” He then gave Uryū the information on the hospital and the phone number for the ward. Uryū thanked him, hanging up and staring at the phone for a moment. “It just doesn’t seem right.”

“You don’t think Kurosaki-kun would be that depressed?” Orihime asked, looking at him sadly. “He was down for quite a while when he lost his powers…”

“Yeah, but to want to kill himself? I don’t think so. Chad, do you want to go with me?” he asked.

Chad nodded. “I’ll come.”

Uryū arranged to go to Tokyo as soon as he could, a couple days later. He wanted to hurry but schedules just didn’t seem to work out in their favor. Chad met him and they made their way to the Tokyo hospital and they found the psychiatric ward easily enough. However, when they got there, things didn’t quite go as planned.

“I’m afraid we don’t have an Ichigo Kurosaki here,” the nurse told them as she looked over the files in front of her. “Is there a different name? The name doesn’t sound familiar to me.”

Uryū exchanged a look with Chad and shook his head. “You called his father to tell him he was here a few days ago. What o you mean he’s not here?”

“I’m sorry, dear,” she said, looking genuinely remorseful about it. “Maybe it was a different hospital?”

“Maxie,” another voice said from behind them. “It’s okay, they’re here to see us.”

Uryū turned to see a rather tall, long-legged Japanese man with spartan facial hair and messy brown hair all about his head smiling at them. He was wearing what looked like blue pajamas and a pair of slippers. The nurse frowned but nodded. “Okay, Takahiro. How was your walk about the hospital?”

“Fine, as usual. Here, come on, Esen is waiting no doubt,” he said and took Uryū by the arm, tugging him toward the door.

Uryū had no idea what was going on, but he went with this guy anyway. He wanted to get into this ward and see for himself that Ichigo was gone, or apparently, had never been here. Again, something was wrong with this whole situation. He was led by Takahiro into the open area and over to a table where an androgynous looking person was sitting. They looked up and Uryū could see they had dark green colored hair. It was cut around their face, framing a set of bright hazel eyes. Their skin was slightly darker than Uryū’s own, and he immediately noted that their arm on the right was missing from the elbow down.

“Esen, hey. These two were asking after Ichigo.”

Uryū frowned, sitting down across from this Esen and Chad sat down beside them. “What’s going on?” Uryū asked quietly.

“Sorry for the rush, but I heard you ask on Ichigo and Maxie told you that he wasn’t, hasn’t been, here. Which they think that, and the records show that, but he was here just a couple days ago,” Takahiro said.

“I don’t understand. Why would they think he hadn’t been here?” Uryū wanted to know.

Esen looked around and shook their head. “It happens, sometimes there are people that come in here that are special. They see things that other people can’t, things that are really there.”

Uryū had to wonder if this was all just some elaborate hallucination these two people shared. But then again, he saw things no one else could see, too. So maybe…

“What kind of things?” Chad asked.

“Spirits mostly,” Takahiro said. “But there are these white-faced monsters and these people in black that chase after them.”

Now Uryū did turn to Chad and stared at him. When they didn’t say anything, Esen spoke. “You already know what we’re talking about.”

Uryū nodded. “Ah, yeah, I know.”

“Ichigo said his friends were like him and knew these things too. Who are you?” Takahiro asked, looking at them closer now.

“My name is Uryū Ishida, and this is Yasutora Sado, or Chad.”

Esen and Takahiro nodded to each other. Takahiro spoke, though. “He mentioned you both when he talked about his friends.”

“Why would Ichigo be talking about stuff like that? He wouldn’t talk about it because that would definitely make him see like he belonged here,” Uryū said, curious now. He didn’t think Ichigo to be the type that would talk about the secret part of his life so openly with strangers.

“Whatever drugs he was getting didn’t help,” Esen said sadly. “He said he shouldn’t talk about it, but it just tumbled out when he was around us. Luckily, no one else really paid attention to what he was saying. He told us about the Soul Society place and his friends from there.”

“Did he tell you how he got put in here?” Chad asked.

“Something about a guy he didn’t know called and told the police he was going to hurt himself,” Takahiro told them. “He said he’d never seen this guy before and had no idea where he’d come from.”

“Why would anyone do something like that?” Uryū muttered under his breath.

“I don’t know, but he wasn’t happy about it. And since he was ‘combative’ he ended up getting drugged for it,” Takahiro explained.

“That sounds like Ichigo,” Uryū said with a sigh. He was glad that some things were the same no matter what happened to him.

“You said this happens sometimes?” Chad said.

“Yeah, Ichigo said it was called being ‘spiritually aware’. But sometimes people come in like that, like us, and then after a few days they disappear without a trace, and no one remembers them ever being here. There’s a man in one of those black outfits that shows up that most people can’t see, and then he uses this device on everyone around here. It doesn’t work on me,” Esen said. “And Takahiro is outpatient so he’s not here all the time.”

“I see,” Uryū said and looked around the room. It seemed no one was interested in their conversation and the nurses were occupied with other things. “It sounds like the one that everyone can’t see is a Shinigami. If he wears the black outfit, that is.”

“Does that mean that Soul Society would know what is happening here?” Chad asked Uryū, frowning as he spoke. 

“Something is going on,” Uryū said. “It’s up to us to figure out what. Ichigo didn’t just disappear. None of these people who are missing from this place just disappeared. Someone took them. The Shinigami are the only ones I know with the mind erasing thing like that, too. But what would a Shinigami be doing with spiritually aware humans?”

“I’ve been here for the last couple months, and I’ve seen at least three people disappear like this,” Esen said.

“I’ve never seen this strange Shinigami,” Takahiro said. “I’ve never been here when he’s been around. But Esen has seen him every time he’s been here while they’ve been here. But he only comes at night, and I go home at the end of the day to sleep there. I’ve seen plenty Shinigami, but I’ve never seen one that acts like this one.”

“Why do you want to help Ichigo so much?” Uryū asked.

“We have a lot in common,” Takahiro said with a smile. “I know what it’s like to have a parent from each world, too.”

Uryū and Chad exchanged a glance. “Your parent is a Shinigami too?”

“My mother. I didn’t know until I saw her wearing the black robes when I was seven, and I realized that no one else could see her like that. My dad explained things to me then,” he said with a soft smile. “Then I understood why she only came around about once a month when I was growing up.”

“I thought it was against their rules to have relationships with humans?” Uryū said, frowning. “That’s what got Rukia in trouble in the first place with Ichigo, even though it was just a friendship in that case.”

“It was complicated,” Takahiro said, sighing. “And I don’t know all the details of how things happened. However, it happened, and I was allowed to stay in this world with my dad while she stayed in Soul Society.”

“So, now we just have to figure out what happened to Ichigo and find him,” Uryū said quietly.

“Esen, Takahiro, almost dinner time,” a nurse said as she walked by. “Tell you friends goodbye and to come see you again another time!”

Uryū nodded, standing up. “Yes, um, thank you. I’ll try and call here if I find anything out about what’s happened. Do you think you’ll be here long?”

“I don’t know how long Esen will be here, but I’m working through some stuff. Here, I’ll walk you out,” Takahiro said and stood up. “This really isn’t a bad place, just too bad that your friend got mixed up in something strange while he was here.”

“Can I give you a number in case you hear anything?” Uryū asked as they came to the nurse’s station

“Of course, let me get my phone out of the locker and I can take it down,” he said with a smile.

After a few minutes, the nurse gave him access to his phone and he took Uryū’s number. They separated at the door and Uryū and Chad made their way home. Neither had much to say along the way, but then what was there to say? They had no real leads other than knowledge about what had happened.


	2. Dazed and Confused

Ichigo opened his eyes and wasn’t sure where he was. Granted, that feeling was familiar over the last week or so. He couldn’t remember how long he’d been in the hospital because he lost count of the days too easily. But this time, the room was different. He frowned, the world slightly warped from whatever meds he was on now. The ceiling was wrong. Instead of white tiles, it looked like it was speckled with popcorn. He blinked, not remembering moving at all. The last he remembered was dinner and then…what?

“Good morning, Ichigo-kun.”

Ichigo looked over to see a man he didn’t know, but he was dressed in a shihakuso. He had blond hair pulled away from his face, and the weirdest blue eyes he’d ever seen. They were more like an aqua color than blue, but then it was almost like they changed. He’d never seen this guy before, but it was obvious he was a Shinigami of some sort.

“What? Who are you? Where am I?” he muttered, pushing up so he was sitting.

“You’re with me now, Ichigo-kun.”

“Stop calling me that,” Ichigo managed, shaking his head. He still felt so weird.

“Aw, they said you were combative, Ichigo-kun. That spirit is good, very good. I hope to use it to my advantage.”

Ichigo managed to focus on the room. This guy was standing near the door. The whole room was painted light cream color, and the bed he was in had blue sheets and blankets. It had a pillow and there was a tray table sitting nearby. There was a door leading to what looked like a single toilet and shower and otherwise there was nothing of note in the room.

“You didn’t answer me. Who are you?” Ichigo demanded, trying to swing his feet over the side of the bed and failing miserably. He shook his head again, trying to clear it.

“I’m Hogai Yagami,” he said with a smile as he stepped forward. “Come, you can meet some of the others.”

“Don’t touch me!” Ichigo tried to bat away his hands but he got a grip on his arm and hefted him to his feet anyway.

“Now, now, don’t be that way, Ichigo-kun,” Yagami said as he pulled him toward the door. “You’ll want to be nice to your fellow subjects.”

“Subjects?” he mumbled, stumbling as they came out of the room into an open living room area. Seated on the sofa and at a table nearby were several people.

“Everyone, this is Ichigo-kun!” Yagami announced.

Several of them turned toward him, but in the same slow, drugged way that Ichigo felt. He was trying to get a look at them individually, but the world just wouldn’t stay still as he was dragged further into the room. He was brought closer to the sofa where two people were sitting. Now that he was close enough, he could see them clearer. One was a young-looking girl with dyed pink hair. She turned dark brown eyes toward Ichigo and blinked slowly. She, like Ichigo himself, was wearing a set of blue pajamas. Beside her, sat a younger boy with short spiked black hair. He glanced at Ichigo once before he returned to staring at his hands.

“This young lady is Oriana-kun. She’s been here about two weeks now. Beside her is Sanzo-kun. Sanzo-kun has been here a couple months now. He’s been quite helpful to my research,” Yagami said before pulling Ichigo toward the table where three more people sat. None of them were doing anything except staring off into the distance.

One of them, a middle-aged man, turned and stared at Ichigo for a moment before returning to staring at the blank wall. It was then Ichigo realized there were no windows in this place. None at all. He turned back, locking eyes on the man again, noting that he looked rater average with slightly shaggy dark brown hair. He had dark blue eyes though, and Ichigo thought they were striking against his complexion. Next to him was another girl, this one Ichigo couldn’t tell how old she was. She had darker skin though, and curly black hair that framed her face. She barely acknowledged Ichigo’s presence. The last person at the table was another young-looking boy. He had piercings in his face, though, and several in his ears. His hair was cut very short, almost shaved, and he had large, brown eyes.

“Here we have Tohaku-kun. He’s been with me quite a while, but he’ll be leaving before long. His usefulness has come to an end,” Yagami said, pointing to the middle-aged man. “This is Serenity-kun,” he told him, indicating the girl. “And lastly, we have Shino-kun. There, I think you’ve met everyone now.”

“Please, tell me what’s happening,” Ichigo said, turning toward him again. “I don’t understand.”

“I know, and you will, just give it time. Here, have a seat for a while. It’s almost lunch time because you slept so late. But that’s okay too, you can sleep as much as you want here. No one will bother you, unless of course I need you for my work.” Yagami slid out the chair that was empty and pushed Ichigo into it.

Ichigo stared at the table, head fuzzy and not able to think for a while. He finally lifted his head and stared across the table at Shino. He found him staring at him now.

“Hello,” he said. “Do you know what is happening here?” Ichigo finally managed after stammering a few times to get started.

Shino smiled a little. “You’ll learn soon. You belong to him like the rest of us. He does what he wants, and we can’t stop him. We can’t stop any of them.”

Serenity turned her head toward him and looked sad. “I’m sorry you’re here too. It’s hell, you know. I don’t know what we did to deserve this, but I think it’s punishment for seeing things we shouldn’t.”

“Seeing things we shouldn’t?” Ichigo frowned. “You mean you see spirits too?”

“We all do,” the older man said from the end of the table. “That’s why we’re here. We see too much.”

Ichigo tried to wrap his head around what they were saying. His brain was sluggish, but it was still working. They were all spiritually aware. So, what did that mean? What was this guy doing? Was he some sort of scientist that was studying spiritually aware humans? But he was more than human. He was a Shinigami. And so was this guy that had them.

Time passed for them. Ichigo was still thinking when a plate of food was sat down in front of him. He blinked, seeing some sort of bento. It was nicely made, an Ichigo realized that he was starving. He fumbled a bit with the chopsticks, but he managed to eat. If he noticed the strange taste it left in his mouth, he didn’t dwell on it. The others ate quietly and didn’t say anything. After he was finished someone came and took the plate. He looked up to see a blonde girl in her twenties or so. She was dressed in dark jeans and a t-shirt. She smiled at Ichigo.

“You’re new, aren’t you? What’s your name?” she asked.

“Ichigo Kurosaki,” he said, frowning at her.

“I’m Rosie. Good to meet you, Ichigo-kun,” she said and turned and left.

Ichigo was getting annoyed with the familiarity these people talked about him with. He rubbed his eyes, things doubling for a moment.

“They drug our food,” came a voice at his elbow. Ichigo nearly jumped because the girl with the pink hair had appeared suddenly there. Oriana had been her name, he said.

“They do?” he asked.

“Oh, yes,” she said, nodding with a deep sigh. “But if you don’t eat, they tie you down to the bed with restraints and force feed you through a tube. I tried it at first, you know. So, don’t turn down the food they give you even if it’s drugged.” She turned and went back to the sofa and sat down in the corner of it.

Ichigo swallowed and sat there for a while until he saw Yagami come back into the room. He came over to Ichigo and smiled at him. “Now, come on, time for my newest subject to get some initial testing done!”

Ichigo shook his head, trying to shake him off but he still pulled him to his feet and dragged him to another door. He entered a new room, this one, like the others, windowless and beige in color. But in the middle, it had a padded chair with straps at the ankle and wrist portion and near the top. Once more, Ichigo shook his head and tried to pull back, only to be taken to it anyway. He was sat down in the chair, and Yagami tightened the wrist and ankles straps on him. He then pulled the collar out and wrapped it around his neck, keeping his head securely against the headrest.

“Now, this won’t hurt much. Well, at least, I don’t think it will. You’re a little special, though. You’re an actual Shinigami, unlike the rest of them. But more than that, you’re one of Aizen’s playthings, with the hollow powers. You’ll be the first I’ve gotten my hands on,” Yagami said as he turned toward something that looked like a computer system.

He tapped away at a keyboard for a few moments then reached over to something beside Ichigo that he couldn’t see. He came back with a syringe full of a pale, slightly glowing, blue liquid. He flicked the barrel to get the air bubbles out. He then took a band and tied it around Ichigo’s arm, and in a few minutes, found a vein in which to inject him. He did so, causing an intense burning sensation to fill Ichigo’s arm.

“Ah, stop, it burns!” he gasped out, jerking his arm weakly.

“It might burn a little, but don’t fret. It’s safe. The others before you have all had the same treatments,” he said as he turned away, tapping again at the keyboard.

Ichigo jerked again, feeling whatever it was go through his boy, burning like fire. He’d never felt anything like it and he didn’t like it one bit. He felt tears come to his eyes and he couldn’t stop them. He heard vague screaming in his head like it was coming from his inner world.

“No, no, stop this, you’re hurting him!”

Yagami turned back to Ichigo and frowned. “Hurting who?”

“The hollow! I hear him!”

“Interesting, so the serum causes pain to the spiritual entity of the Zanpakutō. Very interesting. We’ll have to study this more!” he said, turning and typing furiously into the computer.

He injected two other things into Ichigo before he was done. One felt like it was freezing him from the inside out, and the other caused him to immediately seize uncontrollably. Both these results were surprising to Yagami, so it was obvious whatever he was doing was different when applied to Ichigo for some reason. Ichigo begged him to stop, to just let him be, but Yagami ignored his pleas for him to quit.

Ichigo had no idea how long it too, but it felt like hours before he was done. Finally, he unbuckled him from the chair and pulled him unsteadily to his feet. Ichigo stumbled and nearly fell into him. He led him back into the main room again to sit him at the table. This time Serenity was sitting on the sofa with Oriana and Sanzo was sitting at the table with the other guys.

“Dinner, then someone will be coming by just to see you, Ichigo,” Yagami said and disappeared.

“You get a visitor?” Sanzo said, looking up from the table. “No one gets visitors.”

Ichigo shook his head. “I don’t know.”

Rosie came out and sat down plates of food for everyone. Once again, Ichigo was left with a strange aftertaste in his mouth, and he put together that it must be whatever they were drugging them with. He stared at the plate until it was taken away. He didn’t move even then, still staring at the place on the table the plate had been. He had no idea how long passed, but he gasped when someone put a hand on his shoulder. He turned and saw Yagami had come back.

“Time to see your friend, Ichigo-kun,” Yagami said, pulling him again to stand him up.

“Who is here?” he wondered, vaguely wondering if he’d stumbled into some strange Soul Society experiment. Would they do that to him, though? He couldn’t imagine them being so cruel. Or rather, he could imagine it, but why would his friends allow it?

He saw the door to the room looming and his stomach was in knots. What was going to happen? Who was waiting for him?

The door opened and Yagami pushed him inside, shutting it behind him. When he did, he heard the click of the lock. He turned dully and grabbed the knob, turning it to find it was indeed locked.

“Ichigo-kun,” he heard.

He looked over, and sitting on the bed against the wall was someone he recognized. It was the one who had been there when the cops came to the dorm.

“You!” he said, stumbling a little to the side. “I don’t know you!”

“Ah, but I know you, Ichigo-kun,” he said and stood up to come toward him. “Come, sit down with me. We’ve got a lot to talk about.”

“I don’t want to,” Ichigo said, shaking his head and turning around to pound on the door. “Hey! Open this up! Let me out!” he cried out.

“Don’t be like that, Ichigo,” he said, putting both hands on Ichigo’s shoulders from behind. “I’m Rei. Your friend. Well, more than that, you know. You’re all mine. He promised me that. That I could have you however I liked, as much as I liked, so that’s why I did what he asked and called the police on you. They were really easy to convince I knew you and that you were dangerous, you know,” he said, fingers rubbing too gently along his shoulders.

“Please, I don’t want this, just stop,” he said, jerking away from him and stumbling to his knees. He just couldn’t stay balanced with he way the world kept shifting on him like this.

“Aw, you don’t know what you want, Ichigo. At least not right now. You’re going to feel really good, I promise, here,” he held out a hand with a pill in the middle of it. “He said it was alright for you to have it.”

“I don’t want that!” he batted weakly at his hand.

“Come on, now, don’t be like that,” he said again, closing his hand on the pill and leaning over Ichigo where he’d dropped to the floor.

“No, stop!” Ichigo pushed up, trying to get him away. But he was so drained of strength that it just did nothing.

Rei knelt beside him and grabbed his head harshly, using one hand to wrench his mouth open. Ichigo shook his head, trying to get away from him but he forced his fingers down into his mouth. He gasped, trying to bite down suddenly. The fingers were gone for a second and Rei’s eyes were right in front of him.

“Listen to me, Ichigo, and listen well. You’re going to swallow this or else. If you don’t, I’m going to go in that other room and pick one of your new companions and to them what I want to do to you. Now, do you want that to happen?” Rei’s eyes were hard and Ichigo had no doubt that he was serious.

“You can’t!” he said, shaking his head.

“I will. Maybe that pretty little dark-skinned girl. Do you think she’d like to spend the night with me? I could have a lot of fun making her scream, don’t you think? And no one is going to come to help. You know why?”

Ichigo’s eyes were wide as he shook his head.

“No one can hear you in this place. No one is going to come to help you. You’re one of Yagami’s subjects now, and you are nothing more than a thing to him. He doesn’t care what else happens to you as long as he can use you in his research. So, if I can’t have you, I’ll take one of them. Only, I’m going to hurt them a lot more than I would hurt you. Which is it, Ichigo? One of them, or you?” he whispered, carefully caressing Ichigo’s head as he spoke.

“Please. Don’t do this,” he whispered. “It’s not right, it’s not fair,” he tried.

“Aw, no, it isn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that I was born with such strong desires and no ability to act on them, either. But here we are. Now, are you going to take this pill or not?”

Rei held his hand out again, the small white pill sitting in his open palm. Ichigo stared at it, vision doubling then tripling before returning to normal. He didn’t know what it was, and didn’t know what it would do, but what choice did he have? He couldn’t let someone else suffer because of him. He reached out and took the pill, tempted to throw it away, but afraid that someone else was going to pay for it. He looked up at him and put it in his mouth, dry swallowing it after some effort.

“Open up, let me see,” Rei said and Ichigo opened his mouth. Rei stuck his fingers in and felt around his tongue and his jaw. Ichigo didn’t have the energy to resist so he just laid against the wall and stared at him. “Good boy,” he said and leaned forward to put a kiss on his forehead. “Now, come on, to the bed before that pill kicks in.”

Ichigo was pulled to his feet, dragged over to the bed, and dropped into it. He didn’t feel any different yet, but he wondered if he would even notice the difference as drugged up as he already was. Rei leaned over and pressed his lips to Ichigo’s and Ichigo fought the urge to bite him. When Ichigo just sat there, Rei sat back and glared at him.

“Now, am I going to have to show you how to do everything?” he demanded. “Open your mouth.”

Ichigo opened his mouth reluctantly, and Rei immediately leaned down and began to plunder him with his tongue. Ichigo tried not to retch at someone forcefully kissing him like this, but he found it hard. However, the longer it went on, the easier it was to just let his head float a little bit. He guessed whatever he’d taken was starting to work because when Rei slipped his hand between his legs and grip him, he found himself aroused.

“There, look at that. See, you like it. Quite a bit. You’re already wet down here; I can feel it already through your pants. Who knew you’d be turned on by a little kissing, hmm? Don’t you have a girlfriend back where you’re from?” he asked.

“No, never have,” he answered before he could stop himself. He hated the fact whatever he’d been given seemed to also loosen his tongue.

Rei gave him a smile. “So, since I have you and you can’t lie to me, is there anyone?”

Ichigo swallowed and before he could stop himself, he was nodding. “Someone I like.”

“Who is she? Or is it a he?” Rei asked, running fingers through Ichigo’s hair.

Ichigo didn’t want to answer, but if he was talking, he wasn’t doing anything else to him. So maybe, just maybe, if he could keep him talking, he’d change his mind about this. He doubted it, because he had obviously been watching him for a while to know enough about him to play being his friend to the police like he had.

“He’s a friend and would never return the feeling,” Ichigo managed, face reddening significantly as he spoke. Even as messed up on these drugs as he was, he couldn’t help but blush as he spoke of it.

“Oh, sweet boy, you have a crush. Well, I’ll have to take that place for you since he’s not here. Why do you think he doesn’t return the feelings?” Rei asked, moving to stroke Ichigo’s face as he turned his head away.

“Dunno, just don’t think he would,” he mumbled, finding it harder to talk than it had been. “Never talked about it.”

“Tell me about him,” he said, leaning over and beginning to suck on Ichigo’s neck enough to leave a dark mark.

“Ow, stop…” Ichigo tried to pull away from him only to be grabbed and yanked back toward him where he nearly bit him.

“Tell me!” Rei growled near his ear. “Or else I’m going to find someone to entertain me more than you!”

Ichigo knew he was going to do whatever he said because of that threat. He also knew that Rei was well aware that he had a way to completely control Ichigo’s actions. Ichigo would do anything to protect the others, even if he’d only just met them and they meant nothing to him yet. They were still people that needed protecting, and Ichigo didn’t know any other way to be.

“Cocky, thinks he knows everything,” Ichigo said, biting down on his lip as he felt Rei’s teeth brush his neck. “He defends women like our friends Rukia and Orihime. He-he likes to sew. His favorite food is homemade mackerel miso stew.”

“You know so much about him, even his favorite food,” Rei said, breathing out on Ichigo’s neck.

Ichigo shivered, wishing he’d just stop. He didn’t want this to go any further. He desperately wanted to lie down and sleep right then, but Rei slid his hand between his legs and palmed him through his pants. He gasped a little, the slightest touch sending blood rushing south at an incredible rate.

“Seems it’s working,” Rei smiled, kneading him again until he was whimpering at every touch.

“Please, I don’t want to do this,” he tried again.

“What did I say?” Rei snapped, gripping him hard enough to be painful and making him gasp. “It’s you or them. And I won’t be so nice to them because I’ll be angry. You don’t want me to be angry, do you, Ichigo?” he asked, squeezing him through his clothes.

“No, no I don’t!” Ichigo managed, grabbing onto him with both hands.

If he weren’t so out of it, there was no way this guy would be doing this. He would have fought him. He would have won, too. He wasn’t that strong, and he wasn’t a Shinigami. He was just a single human. But he’d hurt someone else, and Ichigo wouldn’t have that on him at all. He couldn’t sit back and let him hurt someone else like this.

The world began to waver at the edges, but Rei let go of him and resumed kissing his throat. He was more insistent, licking and biting him lightly. His hand slipped under his shirt and began smoothing over his stomach and chest, pausing to pinch and flick at his nipples. Ichigo couldn’t really move much. He just was feeling sensations so keenly though. Every touch, every motion, sent more blood to his engorged cock. Whatever he had given him was certainly working by now.

“Here, lay back,” Rei said, turning him to the side and pushing him down on the bed. At the sensation, he tried to get back up but his muscles just would not cooperate with him. “There, doesn’t that feel nice. Now, I’m going to make you feel really good, okay?” he said.

“No,” he said again.

“Stop telling me no. This is happening, whether you like it or not, do you understand? Or am I going to go get one of those other girls and bring her in here and rape her while you watch?” he asked.

Ichigo bit down on his lip hard. “Don’t. Please. I’ll do what you want.”

He felt him grab the pajama pants and pull them down off his hips slowly and chuckle. “Well, so your hair _is_ naturally that color.”

Ichigo put his arm over his face and tried to imagine it was anyone else in the world. Or rather tried to imagine it was someone very specific touching him. He felt Rei grab him and start to stroke him with his hands. Despite his unwillingness, his body was responding to the touches. He let out a small moan.

“Good, you’re feeling good, aren’t you? I’ll make you feel even better, I promise.” 

Ichigo didn’t want to feel better, though. He just wanted him to stop. He gasped, though as he felt something warm and wet envelop him. He’d never experienced anything like it, and it felt amazing despite the circumstance. This was worse, somehow, being forced to enjoy what was happening to him like this. If he could say he didn’t enjoy it, wouldn’t it be better?

He moaned out loud as he felt him swallow against him, and both hands went down and buried themselves in his dark hair. He had his eyes closed, though, and in his mind, he was imagining someone else doing this. Maybe that would make it better, if he just imagined it was someone different. Then his fingers were under him and pushing inside him. He wriggled back, trying to move away from it. That wasn’t right, it felt weird and kind of burned when he pressed hard into him. Even so, he felt the orgasm come rushing at him suddenly and was unable to even articulate a though as he breathed out a name.

“Ur-Uryū!”

Immediately, Rei came up off of him and crawled over him, caging him under him. “You dare cry out another man’s name when I pleasure you?”

“No, please, I didn’t mean it,” Ichigo tried desperately.

Rei adjusted his glasses and leaned back, standing on his knees between Ichigo’s legs. “I was going to be careful. Now, I think I’ll just take what I want and leave you to think about what you’ve done.”

Ichigo’s blurry vision settled on him as he pulled something out of his pocket, a packet it looked like, and he ripped the corner off of it. At some point, he’d pulled himself free of his pants and now he squeezed the contents of the packet onto his hand and slicked himself with it.

“This might hurt at first,” Rei said before pushing Ichigo’s legs wide and then slamming forward in one hard thrust.

Ichigo’s back arched and he took in a deep breath because hurt was an understatement. He reached down and grabbed onto Rei’s arms, nails digging into him hard as tears sprung to his eyes.

“Stop, stop! Take it out, please, it hurts!” he pleaded.

“Just relax, you’ll be fine. I have plenty of lube, you’re just being dramatic,” Rei said, pulling back and thrusting hard into him again. “Just be quiet and you’ll like it if you give it time.”

Ichigo didn’t know how that could be possible because it felt like he was being torn open. Even under the drugs, it was painful. He just wanted him to stop, but he knew he wouldn’t. Then after a few thrusts, to his shock, his body began to react on its own, coming to arousal again from his motions.

“See there, look, you’re already getting hard again. You like it, don’t you? This being held down and fucked rough? I think that’s your dream, isn’t it? To have that other guy hold you down like the bitch you are?” Rei only became rougher and faster with him. “I’m the one you see when you come. I’m the one doing this to you, understand? Not him, me!”

Ichigo squeezed his eyes shut, trying to will his body to stop responding, but it was no good. Whatever drug he’d given him meant that any stimulation set his body to blaze. He held onto him, though, fingers scratching at his arms, trying to push him off to no avail. He knew he’d cut him, and somehow that made him feel better, as though his resistance was doing something. Suddenly, he was slapped, feeling the stinging sensation across his face. His eyes flew open.

“Look at me!” Rei demanded, leaning over and wrapping his hands around Ichigo’s neck. “Look at me, only at me, you understand!” he said loudly as his hands squeezed around his throat.

Ichigo gasped and tried to breath only to find it nearly impossible. His head was growing dizzier as he laid there, but at the same time, his body still was reacting to Rei’s motions as he’d trapped him between them and was rubbing him incessantly. Even though black patches were covering his vision, he felt the second orgasm rush into him, making him pass out for a while when those black patches merged into one solid sheet.

He came to slowly, feeling someone patting his face. He blinked sluggishly and was staring up into the bespectacled face of Rei.

“Good, there you are. I was a little worried there for a minute. You passed out for a while, but it’s to be expected. You’re fine now, though,” he said, standing up beside the bed.

Ichigo was still half undressed, and he felt gross all over. He looked up at Rei to see him smiling. “Why?” he whispered, not moving to get up yet.

“Why? I love you, Ichigo, that’s why. Now, take a shower. There’s fresh clothes in there for you, and it’s already late. I won’t be back tomorrow, but maybe the next day,” he said and leaned over to kiss him gently on the lips like some kind of lover.

Ichigo watched him go, and heard the lock click behind him. He laid there for a few minutes, still woozy and unsure if he could even stand. Finally, he managed to get to his feet and into the shower. Like Rei said, fresh pajamas were laid on the sink, and in the shower he found soap and shampoo. He got in and scrubbed and scrubbed until he was nearly raw. He just wanted to get his hands off him. When he was done, he stood in the hot spray and sobbed.

“I’m sorry, Uryū,” he whispered.

-oooooo-OOOOOO-oooooo-

When Chad and Uryū got back to Karakura Town, they found that Isshin had the same problem. There was no record of Ichigo being in the hospital at all. They told him what Esen and Takahiro had said and explained that this had something to do with spiritually aware humans. They all went to Urahara to see what could be found out. Urahara had no idea what could be happening, but he invited everyone into the shoten to sit and have tea while he made contacts with people who might be able to help.

Before long, Renji and Rukia came to the shoten. Both were shocked when Uryū and Chad explained what had happened to Ichigo and that they could not find him.

“I don’t understand how he could just disappear,” Rukia said, sitting beside Renji.

“Well, it’s obvious the culprit is a Shinigami,” Uryū said, narrowing his eyes at them. “That’s what Esen and Takahiro described, and Takahiro’s mother is a Shinigami, so he knows what they look like.”

“It’s not like we know the whereabouts of every Shinigami at every moment,” she said with a sigh.

Urahara came back after a few minutes trying to contact someone in Soul Society that might know what was happening.

“I have some disturbing news,” Urahara said as he sat down across from them.

“What is it?” Isshin asked, frowning. “What’s going on?”

“Before my time in Soul Society, there was another researcher and medical student in the fourth division that was to be sent to the Maggot’s Nest. Hogai Yagami was his name. Apparently, he began experimenting on Shinigami and souls without permission. It was innocuous but enough to warrant him being sent to the Maggot’s Nest. Central 45 had made their call,” Urahara explained.

“If they sent him to the Maggot’s Nest, then why is he in the World of the Living?” Renji asked, frowning.

“That’s where the troubling part begins. Before they could officially put him away, he escaped with some equipment and managed to get through a senkaimon. They chased after him into the World of the Living, but one of the items he escaped with was a reiatsu masking device similar to the ones I’ve created. They had no way to track him down, and he had the knowledge to keep that way. They didn’t pursue him much further, though, due to the fact he didn’t have a Gigai and no way to acquire one,” Urahara sighed. “Of course, considering I’ve been here over a hundred years and managed to go without their notice, it isn’t any wonder that someone else could do so before me.”

“Without a Gigai, what can he possibly do in the World of the Living?” Uryū asked, frowning. “He wouldn’t be able to interact with the majority of humans, and the only other people around who could see him would be other Shinigami, who he was avoiding, and hollows.”

“That’s the question. Without a Gigai, how could he possibly pose a threat? At least, that was the thinking,” Urahara confirmed.

“What’s this have to do with Ichigo?” Isshin asked, looking around at the others.

“Well, Yagami’s interest was in the border between Shinigami and hollow. He never got very far, but it is suspect that we have a rogue exiled Shinigami that was investigating Shinigami and hollows, and Ichigo is a Visored.” Urahara looked around the table from under the edge of his hat. “It is possible that he found help among humans who could see him as well.”

“And he obviously has one of those mind erasing devices if this is him,” Chad said, speaking for the first time.

Everyone was quiet for a moment as they thought about that implication. Isshin finally broke the silence. “What are we going to do if this is him?”

“First, we have to find him. He’s one Shinigami, surly we can take him out,” Uryū said, frowning.

“What if he’s the reason Ichigo got picked up in the first place? Didn’t you guys say that Ichigo had told those people at the hospital someone called the police on him to get him picked up?” Rukia asked, looking around.

“That could be, if he arranged things to happen. But why get him legitimately put into a mental health ward?” Isshin said, sighing.

“Access,” Uryū said. “And drugs. If he has people that are working inside this hospital, then he could make sure Ichigo got some sort of drugs that made him easier to work with. We all know Ichigo wouldn’t go quietly, and probably would make quite a big deal about it.”

“Yeah, that could be. If he had someone on the inside, someone that could slip things in the medications he normally took…” Isshin said.

“He normally took medications?” Chad asked.

Isshin looked at him and then Uryū. “He didn’t want anyone knowing about it. He started taking anti-depressants a few months ago. He started having trouble after he lost his powers and it just never went away no matter what he tried. Even getting his powers back didn’t seem to help.”

Uryū shook his head. “So, he had a mental health history going in. That might be why it was so easy to get him committed legally,” he said slowly.

“What does this do for us though? How does this help us find him?” Renji asked.

“It doesn’t do a lot. He has to be somewhere in Tokyo, maybe near that hospital because he had to be transported to wherever he is now. Yagami can get to any location he needs to, but he can’t be seen by just anyone,” Urahara said sadly.

“I’ll go back to Tokyo,” Uryū said.

Everyone looked at him. “What about your school?”

“It can wait. This is more important. He’s somewhere out there, and someone needs to find him. You can’t leave, Kurosaki-san, so someone has to go. I’ll do it.”


	3. Revelations and Truths

Ichigo came awake with a start. He was actually rather clear headed for the moment. Unfortunately, that meant he remembered what had happened the night before. He still was having trouble believing everything that had happened so far. He was sore and his skin stung in places where he’d scrubbed himself raw in the shower.

The door opened after a couple minutes, and Ichigo saw it was Rosie. “Breakfast time!” she said cheerily.

Ichigo had no idea what she had to be so happy about. He sat up slowly, wincing a bit and got to his feet. He shuffled after her, looking around as he did, seeing the others getting summoned from their rooms. He saw that there were rooms connected all around the living/dining room area. He took a seat at the table and stared at the surface until a plate was sat down in front of him. He numbly started to eat, noticing now the off taste of everything he put in his mouth. He had to wonder what was in it.

“You look bad,” Serenity said, looking across the table at him.

“Yeah,” he answered simply. He really didn’t want to say anything else.

No one said anything and Ichigo was glad. He was also glad to feel the floating feeling as the drugs kicked in and time sort of phased out for a moment until he felt someone put a hand on his shoulder. He might have been surprised but his senses were honestly too dull to respond more than to look up and see Yagami.

“Come with me, Ichigo-kun. We have more tests to do,” he said.

Ichigo didn’t want to go with him but what choice did he have? He got up and slowly went after him. Once again, he was strapped into the chair and Yagami used the computer for a few minutes. He wondered what he was going to do this time. The eerie silence in the room other than the constant tapping sound was nearly as bad as being tied down like this. Finally, he turned around.

“How are you feeling today, Ichigo-kun?” he asked.

“You ask me that?” Ichigo scowled at him. “After you let that guy in?”

“Oh, you’re talking about Rei-kun? Yes, he did come by yesterday, didn’t he?”

“Why? Why would you let him?” Ichigo couldn’t help but ask.

Yagami smirked. “Oh, why would I let him rape you? Unless you agreed, I’ll assume that’s what it was. He never said specifically that’s what he wanted, but you don’t look too worse for the wear. You’re only marked on your neck, so you obviously didn’t fight him too badly.”

“I never agreed!” Ichigo spat. “And he threatened the others if I fought him!”

“Oh, he was smart then. Used your traits against you, did he?” he was still smiling slightly as he spoke.

Ichigo growled under his breath. “If I’m an important _subject_ then why?”

“Because what he did doesn’t affect my research at all. Your mental state doesn’t matter to me, so he can do whatever he desires without it causing any harm to my work,” he said, shrugging.

“Your work? What even _is_ your work?” Ichigo asked.

He smiled again. “I’m glad you asked! I do so love to talk about it, and to be honest, the others aren’t very interested in what I’m doing, they would just prefer it be done.”

“Anyone would prefer this be done,” Ichigo told him, blinking as a wave of dizziness overcame him again.

“Well, I’ve also found the right amounts of medicines to keep them in check. It’s obvious that you are going to require adjustment since you’re still as aware as you are. It must be the fact you’re a Shinigami too, fascinating.” He looked over Ichigo again and then turned back to the computer for a minute, typing rapidly. “But that’s all part of my work,” he said as he turned back around. “You’re a rare subject, you know. And I’m so happy to have been able to get you into my studies so easily.”

“Easily?” Ichigo said. “After what you did to get me here?”

“Oh, that. Nothing too difficult, really. You see, these spiritually aware humans are easy to manipulate, I’ve found. Especially when you save them from hollows or manage to do something impressive in their presence. In a city the size of Tokyo, there’s a decent percentage of them to be found, you see. But also, I found, psychiatric wards are a wonderful place to find actual subjects rather than cohorts.” He smiled at Ichigo again. “I, of course, can’t subject my cohorts to the things I do the subjects of the studies.”

“Who would willingly do this for you?” Ichigo grumbled, rolling his eyes a bit.

“Precisely. So, I had to find a way to get subjects, and use the cohorts to help where I can’t. I wasn’t able to escape Soul Society with a Gigai, so I am limited to my interactions with the spiritually aware. It was a problem at first, but as I gathered cohorts it became easier. They interacted with the World of the Living where I could not. It was through them that I was able to build this facility.”

Ichigo had no idea what he had to escape Soul Society for, but he didn’t care. “That doesn’t explain what you’re doing.”

“No, I guess it doesn’t. You see, before I left Soul Society, I was fascinated, like others since me, in the barriers between Shinigami and hollow. Of course, here, I could no longer study that, so I decided to study how humans become spiritually aware and how to control that. I’ve been looking for ways to turn on the ability in humans, which also means looking for ways to turn it off. So far, I haven’t had a lot of luck, but then I heard about you not long after you came to Tokyo,” he said.

He rolled his stool over to Ichigo and picked up another syringe from the tray. This one had pale yellow liquid in it. He flicked it a couple times and was apparently satisfied with it. He put it down on the try that Ichigo couldn’t see. Once again, he tied a tourniquet around his arm and found a vein. Then he injected the substance into him. This one just felt really cool in his arm, though, not like the others. Of course, how it felt going in was no indication of what it would do to him.

“You were too good to pass up. Not only human, but a Shinigami who had a hollow Zanpakutō? That was the ideal test subject for all of my research, even that which I abandoned when I left Soul Society,” he said with a smile again. “I have to thank Aizen and would do so if they hadn’t put him away in the Maggot’s Nest. That’s where they wanted to put me, you know, but I escaped them.”

Ichigo frowned at him. “How do you even know this? If you left Soul Society, and have been here in the World of the Living, how did you even find out about Aizen and what he was doing?” Ichigo asked.

“Ah, I have my ways,” Yagami said. “I would be remiss if I revealed all of that to you, now wouldn’t I?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Ichigo said, trying to shake his head as fuzziness tried to encroach on him. “Someone will come looking for me.”

“Your friends?” he snorted. “Which ones, pray tell, do you think will actually care enough to look for you? You’ve talked to no Shinigami since you’ve come to Tokyo and you haven’t gone back home to Karakura Town since you got here to see anyone.”

Ichigo ground his teeth, not sure how to answer that. It was true that no one had visited him since he arrived in Tokyo, and he hadn’t gone back to visit anyone either. But he had been busy, and so were they. They couldn’t just drop everything and come see him anytime they wished, especially without Urahara to provide aid.

“How do you know so damn much about me?” he asked.

“Ah, how indeed?” Yagami winked at him. “I have my ways. When I left Soul Society, not everyone agreed with their judgement. So, let’s just say I have contacts that I keep up with current events through.”

Suddenly, Ichigo’s vision went white and he gasped. He felt his body trembling, and everything just let strange. He could hear Yagami saying something, but it was all muffled. He guessed whatever he’d injected him with was doing something. He felt hot and cold all at the same time. There was a space of time, how long, he had no idea, and then he was blinking up at the popcorn covered ceiling of his room. He rolled over to face the wall and curled up on himself, head pounding and body aching still. He couldn’t help the tears that escaped his eyes because he was right. No one was going to come for him. No one was going to care. He would be surprised if anyone even knew he was missing.

-oooooo-OOOOOO-oooooo-

Uryū arrived in Tokyo with a suitcase and that was it. He hadn’t brought much more than a couple changes of clothes with him. He got off the train, fingering the cross at his wrist as he looked around for Takahiro. Within a few seconds, he spotted to abnormally tall man and made his way over to him.

“Ah, Uryū, there you are,” he said as he approached.

“I want to thank you again, Takahiro. I really appreciate having a place to stay while I try to figure this out,” Uryū said, bowing slightly at him.

“No problem. Come this way, I have a car. Esen is at home this time, so you’ll be able to see them too. I wasn’t really surprised to get your call, but I was surprised you accepted our offer since you don’t know us very well,” Takahiro said as he led him to the car.

“Well, it was just a matter of necessity. Being nearer to where Ichigo was is much easier than being in Karakura Town and making a trip in to check things out each day. Besides, I have no doubts about my own safety,” Uryū walked around as Takahiro opened the trunk of the car.

Takahiro chuckled. “That’s right, Ichigo said you had some kind of powers.”

“I’m a Quincy,” Uryū said after he got his bag situated into the trunk and closed it. “I have a different sort of powers than Shinigami.”

They both got into the car and Takahiro took off for his apartment. “Yeah, Ichigo spoke highly of you.”

“He did?”

“Oh yes, quite highly. And quite a bit, actually. But you have to remember he was under the influence of whatever meds they were giving him so he said more than he normally would have.” Takahiro glanced at him. “But it seemed you had a special place with him.”

Uryū felt his face flush a bit at that. Ichigo had a special place for him? Why would he do something like that? He cleared his throat and looked out the window the rest of the way. They came to a parking structure and Uryū retrieved his suitcase from the back. They made their way up to the apartment.

Upon entering, Uryū recognized one of the popular street trends in the décor. He knew it because he’d sewn a dress for a girl once in the style. Fairy Kei. He looked around and saw that Esen was indeed dressed in the Lolita style of dress like he expected with the look of the living area.

“Uryū,” Esen said with a smile. “Good to see you.”

Uryū tried not to stare at their missing arm, but it was hard not to notice it. He instead focused on their face. “Good to see you, too.”

“Have you heard anything new?” they asked as they led Uryū to the spare room he’d be staying in.

“I haven’t, and I already thanked Takahiro, but I want to thank you as well for letting me stay here,” he said as he put his rolling suitcase on the bed. He turned back to them.

“Please, come sit in the living room, and we’ll talk a little,” Esen said and gestured with their one hand toward the living room again.

Before he left the room, he noted that there was a large sewing machine and sewing things set up there. Takahiro noticed him looking from outside. “Oh, the spare room is used as my sewing room normally. I sew clothes for Esen but also have to alter my clothes for length quite a bit. I work as an alterations specialist, and I hope to start my own business making custom clothing. It was Esen that really got my interest going in fashion.”

Uryū nodded and followed them both out to the sofas and sat down. He looked around at the various decorations on the walls and sitting around the room. He noted they had a rather large music collection. Takahiro realized he was staring at it and smiled.

“Esen and I both like music a lot,” he said, gesturing to the shelves with the music stored on it. “I’m a big fan of 60’s psychedelic rock music, Santana and stuff. Esen likes to listen to classic progressive rock, like Yes, Rush, and Pink Floyd.”

“Ah, that’s interesting,” he said, nodding. “I don’t listen to much music myself.”

There was a little uncomfortable silence between them for a moment until Takahiro spoke up again. “Um, so you said Ichigo’s father was a Shinigami?”

“Oh, yeah, he’s a Shinigami. From what I understand, his mother was human, but I don’t know a lot other than that,” Uryū said with a soft smile. “You said your mother was a Shinigami?”

“Yeah, she’s in Soul Society right now. She usually comes to visit about once a month. She’s in the tenth division I think she said. She really likes her captain because he lets her come visit as much as he does.”

“Ichigo’s father left Soul Society to be with his mother,” Uryū said. “How did it work growing up with a mother who was a Shinigami? Did you grow up here in the World of the Living?”

“Yeah, I grew up here. When I was little, I wondered why she could only come and visit once a month and why she never stayed for very long. Then when I was seven, I saw her with the people in black robes I saw now and then. I realized then that she was connected to them. When she was like that, I could see her, but others couldn’t. I related to Ichigo when he talked about seeing ghosts and others thinking something was wrong with him, because it was the same with me. That’s when my father explained things to me about my mother.” Takahiro got up. “Would you like a cup of tea?”

“Oh, that would be nice,” Uryū said with a nod.

He went to the kitchen and returned a few minutes later with tea for everyone. Esen took a cup and Uryū took his. “Here you are,” he said.

“Thank you,” Uryū answered, sipping at the cup. “So, I don’t know how Ichigo’s parents met. How did your parents meet and get together?”

Takahiro reached over and grabbed a photo of the two of them. “This is my mother, Haruka Minase, and my father, Mitsuo.” It was obvious that Haruka was tall because she was just as tall as Takahiro’s father in the picture. “How they met is a funny story, actually,” he said, chuckling as he put the photo back.

“My dad was a university student and mom was a classmate. She was doing observation on the human world or something, she never specified exactly what her mission was, but they had a friendly, if rather distant relationship with each other. Well, one night dad and some of his friends went out drinking and got attacked by a hollow. It was some sort of hollow that sought out those that were intoxicated to prey on. I guess mom showed up as a Shinigami and killed the thing. They were all drunk, so she didn’t erase their memories thinking none of them would remember anything.” Takahiro smiled. “She came back and told them it was a drunk hallucination for them. Only dad didn’t believe her.”

Takahiro sipped his tea and smiled at Uryū. “Dad wondered if that’s why she never dated or formed close friendships at all. He began to watch her, not stalking mind you, but he noticed she left at odd hours, but wasn’t doing anything illegal that he could see. I guess it does seem like he was stalking her, though, because he followed her one night when she left. He ended up seeing her liberating the spirit of someone killed in a car crash. At first, he just figured she was a spirit medium, and since he’d seen the spirits of people since the night they were attacked, he told her he wouldn’t tell anyone. They ended up getting together after that.”

“When did he find out the truth, that she was a Shinigami?” Uryū asked.

“Sometime before I was born, Mom decided that it was time to tell him the truth since things were quite serious between them,” he said, nodding.

“What about you, Esen?” Uryū asked. “You don’t seem to be Japanese?”

“Oh, no, I’m Turkish,” they said with a smile. “I speak Japanese well, but I’m still learning to read it.” They pointed to the bookshelf where there were titles in another language. “I still have some Turkish books from back home. But I’ve lived here with Takahiro for a while now.”

“Ah,” Uryū said as he finished his tea. “I suppose I should rest tonight and start my investigations tomorrow. I hope you don’t mind if I go on to sleep.”

“Of course, please. I know you’ll be doing a lot of leg work tomorrow if you get any information. Have you decided where to start?” Takahiro asked.

“I’m going to the university to see if anyone even remembers him. Surely someone there will know of him, even if this is a Shinigami with one of those mind-altering devices. He couldn’t have gotten to everyone Ichigo knew,” Uryū said as he stood up and bowed slightly before going to the spare room.

Uryū didn’t know what he was going to find. And he didn’t know how long it would take, but at least he had somewhere to work from. He could also freely discuss the situation with Takahiro and Esen, so that was a plus. He finally managed to fall asleep after what felt like a long time. His mind kept going back to Takahiro saying Ichigo had spoken highly of him. What exactly had he said about him?

Morning came too soon as light came streaming in the curtains. He groaned as he rolled out of the bed and got up. He had a lot to do today if he was going to figure out where Ichigo went. He had to figure out what happened to him. He couldn’t have just disappeared. He pulled out his wallet and took out a picture of Ichigo that his dad had given him and stared at it. It was the only picture of Ichigo that Uryū had ever had. He blinked at it and sighed, putting it up and hoping the day was not for nothing.

After he had breakfast with Takahiro and Esen, he had Takahiro take him to the university and scheduled a time for him to return to pick him up. Uryū had gotten Ichigo’s dorm information from his father, so he started there. He found his dorm roommate still had all his memories of Ichigo and said that he hadn’t seen him in at least a week. He said that his professors had been asking about him, and that no one was aware what had happened to him. Everyone figured that he hadn’t ran away because he left all his things behind.

Then, he made a discovery. In talking to people, there had been someone else that was missing a few days recently, but they’d come back. It was a bit strange, because he had no explanation of why he had disappeared for a few days, but he was apparently a strange guy. Uryū tried to track him down but didn’t have any luck finding him. He wondered if the two situations were related at all.

By the time Takahiro came and picked him up, he was exhausted. He’d walked most of the school and talked to several people that remembered Ichigo. He was, after all, memorable with his hair color.

“Did you have any luck?” Takahiro asked as they drove back to his apartment.

“I found out that no one at the school has had their memory altered. Only the people at the hospital were had their memory changed. I don’t know why, but obviously he only cared about changing things there,” Uryū said, rubbing a hand over his eyes under his glasses.

“You care a lot about him, huh?” Takahiro asked.

“What do you mean?” Uryū snapped, turning to him sharply.

Takahiro smirked at him. “It’s just that you are doing all this for him even though you don’t have to. I think it’s kinda sweet, especially after the way he talked about you so much.”

“Pfft, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Uryū groused as he looked out the window at the city passing them by.

“You know, it’s okay to have feelings for your friend. Some of the best relationships develop out of friendship,” Takahiro pointed out.

“Feelings?” Uryū repeated. “I don’t have feelings for Ichigo. Not at all.”

“Are you sure about that?” Takahiro wanted to know.

Uryū didn’t know what to say to that. He really didn’t. Did he have feelings for Ichigo? They’d been through so much together, weren’t they like brothers? But what if it was more than being brothers? He didn’t know, he just knew that he had to find him and that was all there was to it.

-oooooo-OOOOOO-oooooo-

Ichigo sat at the table again and stared at the plate of food. He swallowed hard, tempted to not eat anything at all, even with his stomach protesting after missing lunch. His head was actually pretty clear right then and if he didn’t eat, they wouldn’t be able to just do wat they wanted with him. But if he didn’t eat, they’d force it on him, like Oriana had told him. He kind of wanted to eat, though, because it would be nice to feel numb again.

“He won’t stop,” Shino said from across the table. Ichigo looked up, focusing on the piercing over his left eye for some reason.

“I know,” he answered. “But what can we do?”

“There’s too many of them,” Serenity said from beside him. He glanced over at her as she picked at her own food.

“But there’s only Rosie?” Ichigo frowned as he started to eat slowly.

“There’s more than her,” Shino said. “She’s the only one you see most the time. There’s plenty others here.”

Ichigo nodded sadly. If there were more of them, there wasn’t much to be done. Drugged up and alone, what could they possibly do? “I want to leave. I just want to go home,” he said finally.

“It’s penance, I say,” Serenity said, sighing. “We’re serving penance for seeing what others can’t.”

“I wish you’d stop with that,” Oriana said as she came over to the table. “It’s not true. Just because we see what others can’t doesn’t mean we should be punished for it.”

“You are all dallying,” Rosie said from behind them. “Finish your dinners or you’ll all be in trouble.”

At her words, everyone stopped talking and started eating quickly. Ichigo had to wonder what kind of trouble they would be in if they didn’t do as they were told. Ichigo was certain that he didn’t want to know. He finished his food just as Rosie began picking up the others’ plates. He watched her take it away and felt the clarity leave and the numbness start to set in on him. Yagami said they’d adjust what he was getting since it didn’t seem to work as well on him. He sighed, feeling sad but at the same time glad for the drugs.

After a few minutes, or what felt like a few minutes, Rosie came over and pulled him to his feet. He looked at her, confused for a moment.

“Time for bed!” she announced and led him back to his room.

His heart sped up in his chest as he moved toward it. Would he be there again? He said he wasn’t going to be here today but what if he lied? The door opened and Ichigo sighed in relief. The room was empty. He laid down on the bed at Rosie’s urging and stared at the wall as he heard the door lock behind him. He had to wonder if anyone had missed him yet and what people would think when he just disappeared like this. It didn’t matter, he supposed, as he let sleep claim him.

-oooooo-OOOOOO-oooooo-

Haruka Minase had no idea why she was being summoned to her captain’s office. She knew she hadn’t done anything lately to warrant a reprimand. She had no idea why in the world he other the vice-captain would need to see her. It wasn’t her week to visit the World of the Living to see her family, so it couldn’t be related to that. At least she hoped it wasn’t related to her family. She stopped and took a breath. She hoped Mitsuo and Takahiro were okay. She rushed the rest of the way to the office and knocked on the door.

“Enter,” she heard the captain on the other side.

“Taichou, Fuku-taichou,” she said, nodding to each one.

Captain Hitsugaya sat at his desk and Vice-Captain Matsumoto stood beside him. Both looked at her and she saw Rangiku give her a smile. So, it was nothing too serious, otherwise she would not be smiling at her.

“Haruka, there’s a group that’s getting ready to go to the World of the Living, and we thought you would be best suited to accompany them,” Hitsugaya said as he looked her over. He had aged in the last couple years and it was still strange getting used to the fact that he was starting to look older.

“Abarai Fuku-taichou and Rukia Kuchiki from the thirteenth will be going,” Rangiku said. “There has been an incident, and the Sou-Taichou wants it fully investigated.”

“An incident?” Haruka asked.

“Yes, it seems that an escapee from Soul Society may have surfaced again and be causing trouble. A Shinigami named Hogai Yagami was supposed to be put into the Maggot’s Nest almost two hundred years ago, but he was able to escape and hide in the World of the Living. He has not been heard of since, but he is the only individual unaccounted for that could be causing the sort of problem that they’ve encountered,” Hitsugaya said. “I’m sure you remember substitute Shinigami Ichigo Kurosaki?”

“Of course, he’s hard to forget after everything he’s done for Soul Society while still being human,” she said, wondering what this had to do with him.

Hitsugaya and Rangiku exchanged a look and Haruka knew there was something going on. “He’s disappeared from a mental facility. All records have been altered, and all people involved with his care have had their memories erased about him. The only conclusion we can reach is this must be Yagami again. Kurosaki’s unique abilities would be attractive to a researcher like him,” Hitsugaya explained.

“If I might ask, why was he supposed to be put in the Maggot’s Nest?” she wondered.

Hitsugaya sighed. “The totality of that information is classified, just know that it was to do with experimenting on others without their permission and having an interest in the barrier between hollow and Shinigami.”

“Yes, sir. Do I need to report to Abarai Fuku-taichou immediately?” she asked.

“Yes, please do. They will be going to meet with your son, actually, who has become involved in this from what I understand,” Hitsugaya nodded.

“My son?” she asked, a little surprised to hear that Takahiro was involved.

“Completely by happenstance, it seems that he has found himself drawn into the situation,” Hitsugaya said. “It will benefit us by making it easier to work with everyone. From what I understand, you will have to work with the Quincy, Uryū Ishida. He can be…difficult. Dismissed.”

“Yes, sir. Ma’am,” she said and turned on her heel to head to the sixth and meet with Abarai and Rukia.

She arrived to find the pair already talking about the situation. She knew Rukia in passing, but she was not familiar with Abarai at all. She was impressed by how tall he was, but then she was almost as tall, which meant she was significantly taller than the much more petite Rukia.

“Abarai Fuku-taichou,” she announced as she came into the room.

“Haruka,” Rukia said, smiling. “Thank you for coming.”

“Yes, it seems my son is involved in all this,” she told them.

“That should help since we’ve gotta work with Ishida,” Abarai grumbled.

Rukia smacked him on the arm. “Quit complaining. He’s not that bad. He’s just stressed right now because Ichigo’s missing. And you know how he is about Ichigo.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Anyway, Haruka, thanks for coming too. We should head out in a few minutes to meet up with Ishida and your son,” Abarai said and rolled his head over his shoulders.

“Do you know how my son got tied up in all this?” she asked, frowning.

Rukia smiled. “I guess it sounds like it was completely by chance, but I don’t know, maybe someone out there wanted to give us a hand, because it has been helpful so far. Ishida has been staying with your son for the last couple days doing his own investigation on the World of the Living but hasn’t gotten anywhere so far, so it’s been decided to send us to help. It only makes sense, if this is this Yagami, he’s our problem and we need to take care of him.”

“I see,” Haruka said. The chances of her son being involved were so slim, perhaps fate had decreed that they would get some help after all.

“Come on, let’s go, they’re expectin’ us,” Abarai said and motioned for them both to follow.

Together they headed to the senkaimon and on to the World of the Living.


	4. Remorse and Fixing Broken Dreams

Rei sat beside Ichigo. It was the third time he’d come to him over the last week. Each time, he was progressively more out of it than the last time he was here. He reached a hand out and rested it on his hip where he laid facing the wall. He felt the flinch at his touch, and he realized that it wasn’t going to change. Everything he wanted was right here, or so he thought.

“You know, before I saw you, I had no interest in guys. I thought I was just awkward with women and couldn’t approach them. Then there was you. Vibrant and brilliant, and I realized how much I wanted to _possess_ that. I wanted to own every part of you. But again, I couldn’t approach. It would have just been so much easier if I could have said something, you know?” He stroked his hip gently, feeling him tremble just slightly under his touch.

“But all I’ve gotten has been your body. I thought it would be enough. Just to have you physically like I wanted. To make you mine. And I really thought it would work, but you aren’t mine. No matter how many times I come here and have you, it won’t matter. Your heart isn’t for me to have. I realize that now. I guess I thought maybe you’d come around, but you can’t, not with what this guy Yagami is doing. Whatever it is, it’s taking away what makes you who you are. That vibrancy and brilliance I love is fading away, and as much as I want to keep you here so I can have you be mine, I can’t watch this anymore.”

He stood up and went to the door. Glancing back at him, Ichigo pulled his legs up even further into him and jerked the cover up over his bare body. Rei wouldn’t come back.

He knew what he had to do.

So, he went back to the campus. He’d missed a few days when everything was going on, but other than that, he’d been at school. He’d just spent a few nights with Ichigo over the last week. He had heard there was someone asking about Ichigo and him on the campus, but he had stayed away from them. He guessed that the most likely person to know who was looking for Ichigo would be his roommate.

He went to his dorm and found him home. After a short conversation where Rei told him Ichigo was ill and had gone back home for a few weeks, he got the name of the guy who had been looking for him.

It was no surprise that his name was Uryū Ishida. He stood outside the dorm and stared at the name on the paper. Ichigo had said the name more than once. Now, he knew that he was also looking for Ichigo, so that meant there was more between them than Ichigo realized. He sighed, pulling out the phone and dialing the number.

-oooooo-OOOOOO-oooooo-

Uryū sat on the bed and waited, once again, for one of the Shinigami to come back with a report. So far, it had been another week, making it two weeks that Ichigo had been gone. He picked up the phone to see he had a message from Chad asking if they’d found anything yet. He sent back on saying they that they had had no luck yet.

Then, the phone rang in his hand. He didn’t recognize the number at all, but it was from Tokyo.

“Hello?” he answered.

“You don’t know me,” the voice on the other end started. “But I know who you are. And you’re looking for Ichigo Kurosaki.”

Uryū blinked rapidly. “Yes, I am.”

“I can tell you where he is. And I just want to say I’m sorry for what I’ve done to him. But what’s happening is wrong.”

“What have you done to him? What’s happened to him?” Uryū demanded.

“Look, I didn’t mean to hurt him, not really. I just wanted him to be mine, that’s all, so when he came to me with a way to do that, I took it. I’m sorry now that I did.” His voice was sounding almost choked as he spoke. “I know what I did was bad, taking advantage of the situation he’s in, but I wanted it so badly. Have you ever wanted something so badly you’d do anything to get it?”

“What are you saying?” Uryū was worried now because if he meant what it sounded like he meant…

“I can’t do it anymore, though. He’s never going to love me like I love him. And I know that. It’s your name on his lips, not mine.”

Uryū sucked in a breath. “Please, what did you do?”

“I tried to make him happy, I did. I gave him something to make it feel good, but it didn’t help in the end. Even making him feel good, it didn’t make him like it. He still fought me, and I had to tell him I would hurt the others to make him stop. But it didn’t matter. He wouldn’t be mine, not really. He loves you, not me,” he said, and Uryū thought it almost sounded like he was going to cry.

“Tell me where he is, please, so I can help him,” Uryū begged.

“There’s a bunker, an old basement of a building, just outside of Tokyo. He’s there. But they’re guarding the only way in, and they’re all like me, so your spirit buddies can’t sneak in.” He then gave Uryū an address. “He’s going to kill him if he keeps up. He can’t take much more,” he said then the line went dead.

Uryū stared at the phone until there was a gentle knock on the doorframe. He looked up to see Rukia standing there with Renji and Takahiro’s mother, Haruka.

“What’s wrong?” Rukia asked, frowning at him.

“I just got a call. From this guy who told me he knew where Ichigo was. He gave me an address,” Uryū looked up at them and sighed. “But what he told me…”

“What was it?” Rukia encouraged him to continue.

“He said that Ichigo would never love him.”

The implication of that statement didn’t have to be explained because everyone present knew what that meant. “Well, let’s go,” Renji said. “We’ll get him out of whatever place he’s in.”

“He said it was guarded by spiritually aware humans. And that whatever this guy who has him is doing will kill him he thinks.” Uryū stood up. “But we have to go get him.”

“I can use kido on the humans. We have to get in there and get him out,” Rukia said, back stiffening.

“What about this Yagami?” Haruka asked, looking between Rukia and Renji.

“From what Ukitake-taichou told me before I left, Yagami doesn’t have a Zanpakutō. His was confiscated before he was to be interred in the Maggot’s Nest. But we don’t know his kido capabilities. He was good enough with kido before he left Soul Society, but he’s been in the World of the Living for the last couple hundred years,” Rukia told them.

“That much is good at least,” Uryū said. “Are we going now?” he got up and looked between them.

“Alright, it’s probably better if we go at night, isn’t it?” Renji said, looking between them.

Rukia looked to be thinking about it. “I suppose that’s true. More likely that people will be asleep since we’re dealing with humans for the most part.”

“I’d rather go sooner than later,” Uryū frowned, crossing his arms across his chest.

“Just be patient, Uryū. We’d rather get him out safely than not,” Rukia told him, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“I’ll call his father and let him know what we’ve found out,” Uryū said, turning to pick up his phone again.

“Alright, I’ll let Ukitake-taichou know what’s going on,” Rukia nodded and turned around to head out of the bedroom.

Haruka and Renji followed her, leaving Uryū alone in the bedroom. He sighed heavily and looked at the phone. What was he supposed to tell Ichigo’s father? That they’d confirmed that Ichigo had been kidnapped by some crazy rogue Shinigami and that he’d been put with his stalker. He chewed his lip and dialed the number.

“Kurosaki.”

“Kurosaki-san,” Uryū stared. “I was just calling to give you an update. We’ve got a location where Ichigo might be. We’re going to go in tonight and see if we can rescue him.”

“Did you find out if the Shinigami is involved?”

“We’re pretty sure he is the one in charge. I was contacted by someone involved that felt remorseful of what he’d done to Ichigo, and wanted to see us do something,” Uryū explained.

“What he’d done to Ichigo? Do you know what’s happened to him?” Isshin asked.

Uryū swallowed hard. “H-he said something about how Ichigo wouldn’t ever love him.”

“Oh. He did, did he?”

“And it sounded like Yagami is doing some sort of research on him,” Uryū told him.

“Just find him, Uryū. We’ll deal with whatever has happened at that point.”

“Alright, I promise, we’ll get him out of this place, whatever it is. Now that we know where he is, we can do something. I just wish we could go now. Rukia feels like it would be safer to go at night, though.” Uryū sat down on the bed and sighed.

“She’s right. Just be careful and watch yourself,” Isshin said. “Let me know what happens.”

“Alright, Kurosaki-san,” Uryū said. “I’ll call you as soon as we have him.”

“Thank you, Uryū,” he said and clicked off the call.

Uryū sat the phone down on the bed beside him and thought about everything. _He loves you, not me._ Did Ichigo have such feelings? If he did, why didn’t he say something to him about them? How long had it been? And now that he knew, what was he going to do about them?

-oooooo-OOOOOO-oooooo-

Uryū managed to get through the day with some difficulty. His mind kept going to what the guy said on the phone, and he kept staring at the number in his call log. He had his number, so he could probably find him if he really wanted to.

“Are you ready?” Rukia said from the doorway.

Uryū looked up and nodded. He’d already changed into his Quincy outfit, something he hadn’t worn in a while. He stood up and put the phone away on the desk. He wouldn’t be needing that tonight. He followed Rukia out and they headed to the address that the mysterious caller had given them. Takahiro had wanted to come but his mother was adamant that he and Esen stay home an out of it. Rukia, Renji, and Haruka led the way and Uryū followed their instructions. 

They came to what looked like an abandoned building except there were cars parked nearby. There were no lights and it was quiet all around.

“He’s using some kind of reiatsu masking,” Rukia whispered to them. “I can’t sense anything about this place. Assuming, of course, that the guy who called Uryū wasn’t lying.”

“I don’t think he was.” Uryū couldn’t be perfectly sure, of course, but he just didn’t get that impression from him when he called.

“What’s the plan?” Renji asked. “How ya wanna play this?”

Rukia was silent for a moment. “Well, if he’s using the basement of this place, there’s probably only one way in and out. First, we need to get in and find the entrance and exit. Then we need to secure the place and get Ichigo out of it. Do we have any idea of how many people we’re dealing with?”

Uryū shook his head. “Not at all. He didn’t give me much information other than what I’ve told you all already.”

“Alright, so we’ll be ready for anything,” she said.

They went to the door of the building and found it locked from the inside. Considering that the building itself was in disrepair, this seemed like a strange thing. Renji easily broke the lock open with a good blow from Zabimaru.

“Well, they’ll know we’re coming,” Rukia muttered as they let their eyes adjust to the dim light in the room.

There was broken furniture and trash laying all about the room, but there was an obvious path to a door. This one, like the front door, was locked from the other side. They could hear noise on the other side, though, so Renji took up the front position and busted through the door. Luckily for them, it wasn’t that well made. On the other side, a human tried to stand between them and the stairs that descended, but one quick kido and he was writhing on the ground unable to move. They continued down the stairs an came out into an open kitchen. Immediately, they were attacked by another human in the dark, this time from behind. Haruka turned, voice strong as she said, “Crumble, Jisuberi.” With one deft strike of her Zanpakutō, he was frozen, arm holding a bat encased in stone.

“Come on, there might be more of them,” Rukia said as they found the door on the other side of the room.

This time, the door opened into what looked like an open living room and dining room. Around the room were other doors. It was utterly silent until someone yelled, “Intruders!” and another man came running at them wielding a bat. Rukia gestured and he hit the ground, bat flying out of his hands and skidding across the floor to rest at the feet of a blond-haired Shinigami who was watching from the shadows.

“Yagami!” Rukia yelled out.

“Oh my, it seems it’s time to go,” he said, turning and disappearing through a door behind him.

Renji started to go after him but Rukia stopped him. “We have to find Ichigo. Catching him isn’t our priority,” she reminded him.

Uryū was only half listening as he went to the first locked room and used his shoulder to bust it open. Inside, it was empty except for a computer set up and a padded chair. He left that room and went to the next while Renji, Rukia, and Haruka did the same to the other doors.

“Here!” Renji shouted, and Uryū ran from the room he’d opened where a pink-haired girl was looking very confused at him.

He pushed Renji aside and ran into the room, seeing Ichigo’s head of orange hair in the bed. “Ichigo!”

He turned toward him and, like the other girl, looked extremely confused. “Uryū?”

Uryū dropped down to his knees by the bed and grabbed his face. His eyes were blown wide, so it was obvious he was drugged.

“Ichigo, there you are,” he said softly.

Ichigo reached out, touching Uryū’s face and staring at him. It was like he was trying to figure out if he was real or not. He swallowed and shook his head.

“But you can’t be here.”

“I—we—are here to get you out of this place, Ichigo. We’ve been looking for you for two weeks,” Uryū told him.

He stared at Uryū for a long time, and then seemed to see what else was going on around him. Rukia came in and looked at him. “Take him back to the apartment. Renji, Haruka, and I will take care of these other humans.”

“Alright. Come on, Ichigo, can you walk?” he asked.

Ichigo didn’t move, only stared at him until Uryū stood up and started helping him to his feet. He was so out of it, Uryū wasn’t sure if he could walk, let alone move faster than that. He would have to carry him; that was the only solution. He leaned over and managed to pick him up with a little effort on his part. He may not have been a Shinigami, but he could at least do this.

Ichigo clung to him, obviously not sure what was happening, but Uryū had to admit it was nice in a way. He got to Takahiro and Esen’s apartment without incident, which was good since unlike Rukia, Renji, and Haruka, he could be seen by anyone who was outside during the night. He knocked on the door and Takahiro answered it.

“Oh! You found him,” he said and moved to let Uryū into the room with Ichigo.

“Put him there on the sofa,” Esen said. “I’ll make some Turkish coffee. Takahiro, your help please? I still haven’t mastered it one armed.”

Uryū sat him down on the sofa and kneeled in front of him again. He reached up and cupped his face.

“Ichigo, hey, can you talk to me?” he asked.

Ichigo’s eyes were still wide and his pupils blown, but he was able to focus on Uryū. “I don’t know what’s happening,” he said after a moment.

“I know, I know,” Uryū said, smiling sadly at him. “And that’s okay. But you’re safe now.”

“Safe?” he echoed, but he didn’t look sure of that. “He’ll come back.”

“He’s not going to come back to do anything to you now. We’re going to make sure of it, okay?” Uryū tried to assure him.

Ichigo just shook his head. “The others. What about them?”

“Rukia’s taking care of them. She’ll make sure they all get home.”

“Oh, that’s good,” Ichigo said, looking around, blinking. “Where are we?”

“Do you remember Takahiro and Esen? From the hospital?” Uryū asked, hand still against his face. He was afraid if he let go, he might disappear as strange as it sounded.

“Hospital?” he asked, frowning. It was obvious he was trying to think, but his brain was all muddled up with whatever drugs they had him on. “I was at the hospital. Then he came and took me away…”

“Yeah, Yagami was his name. He was a Shinigami. I don’t know what he was trying to do, but we got out away from him,” Uryū didn’t know what else to say. He didn’t know if he should tell him about the guy that contacted him or not.

Ichigo’s face scrunched up as though he were thinking of something. “But he wasn’t the worst.”

Uryū had been afraid of that. “It’s okay, I figured that out already.”

Ichigo looked at him for a moment. “His name was Rei. He said he loved me.”

“Rei?” Uryū asked, and even just him saying the name, he could see that it sent a shiver through Ichigo’s form. “He called me. He told me where you were.”

It took a minute for Ichigo’s mind to catch on to what Uryū had said. “He what?”

“He called me. I left my number. I had left it with your dorm roommate. I guess he went to him to get it. He said he knew you wouldn’t love him.”

“You know,” he whispered.

Esen and Takahiro came over and sat down cups on the coffee table. “It tastes different than the coffee you’re used to. This is Turkish style coffee.”

Ichigo just stared at the cup with a weird look on his face. “They drugged our food.”

“Well, this isn’t them,” Uryū said, picking up Ichigo’s cup and sipping it before handing it over to him. Ichigo took it, hands shaking just a bit.

“I trust you, Uryū,” he said, sipping the coffee gingerly.

Uryū smiled because that was something he was happy to hear. If he trusted him, then it would be good. They were quiet for a few moments and Uryū wanted to know what Rei had done and if it was as bad as he feared.

“Did they hurt you, Ichigo?” he asked, sipping his own coffee. “What did Yagami do?”

Ichigo looked up, eyes still a bit glassy. “He wanted to know about the hollow Zanpakutō and Aizen’s research. He did something, gave me injections, recorded it on the computer. He typed a lot. But he didn’t care what Rei did. He let him.”

Back to Rei. He did and didn’t want to know what he was going to say. “What did he let him do, Ichigo?”

His hands shook where he held the cup. “I told him no. Every time, I told him no,” Ichigo said in a harsh whisper. “I’m sorry, Uryū, I’m sorry!”

“Sorry?” Uryū gasped and took the cup from his hands gently. “Don’t say that, Ichigo, you can’t help what they did to you, none of it!” He set the cup down and put his arms around him.

He didn’t expect Ichigo to start crying but he guessed the drugs he was under weren’t helping. He couldn’t quite control his emotions like this, and he was trying so hard. He grabbed Uryū tightly and Uryū clutched him in return. He just kept saying he was sorry and he didn’t want him to touch him but he did and he couldn’t stop him. Uryū didn’t know what to say, so he just held him tightly.

“Ichigo, it’s okay, it’s okay,” he whispered.

He noted that both Esen and Takahiro seemed a little uncomfortable at what he was saying, but neither of them said anything. After a few minutes, Ichigo’s breath grew heavy and Uryū realized he’d gone to sleep on him. Uryū looked over to Esen and Takahiro.

“I will take him to the spare room so he can sleep,” Uryū told them and gathered him up in his arms.

He laid him down on the bed and brushed his hair back from his face. “Oh, Ichigo,” he whispered.

-oooooo-OOOOOO-oooooo-

Waking up was like swimming through mud. Ichigo felt heavy as he opened his eyes and once again he was overwhelmed with the sensation of not being somewhere familiar. He gasped and sat up, looking around the room. Vaguely, he remembered the day before. Yeah, the day before. Uryū. Uryū came for him. More than that, Uryū knew what happened. He put a hand to his aching head and swallowed. He felt awful. There was a gentle knock at the door.

“Yeah?” he answered.

The door opened and Ichigo saw it was Uryū. His breath sped up and he felt his heart pounding in his chest. What would he think? Would he think he was disgusting? Would he care at all?

“Ichigo, you’re awake,” he said and came in to sit down beside him on the bed. “How do you feel this morning?”

“Pretty gross,” he muttered and ran his hands through his hair. “I can think clearer. Not all the way back to normal, but better.”

“Do you remember yesterday?” Uryū asked, and to Ichigo’s surprise, when he put his hand down, Uryū covered it with his.

“Mostly. There’re fuzzy areas, but I remember you came for me. I didn’t think you’d come for me. You said…you said Rei called you,” he said, nearly choking on the name.

“Yeah. He said he knew you’d never love him, and he couldn’t watch what Yagami was doing to you. Did you know him from school?”

Ichigo shook his head. “I’d never met him before the night he called the police on me,” he said. “He knew everything about me, though, and so did Yagami. Yagami said he had contacts in Soul Society still, and apparently they had given him information on me.”

Uryū squeezed his hand and Ichigo felt his face heat. “That’s concerning. If he still communicates with people in Soul Society, that could cause problems.”

Ichigo swallowed, turning his hand over to touch Uryū’s palm to his own. He felt his heart pounding still. “I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry, Ichigo?” Uryū said, sliding up closer to him on the bed.

Ichigo looked at him and wondered what he was supposed to say. What was he sorry for? He knew he was sorry for what happened because of Rei. He tried to speak but his voice cracked before he could get a word out.

“Ichigo. Was he telling the truth?” Uryū said, running his fingers over his hand gently, so gently.

“Wh-what do you mean? About what?” he said quietly. What had Rei told him?

“He said that you wouldn’t love him because you loved me.”

Ichigo’s eyes went wide and he tried to pull his hand back, but instead Uryū caught him and held on. He held on. “I-I w-was drugged. I don’t know what I said.”

“Don’t lie, Ichigo. Takahiro and Esen told me how you talked about everything while you were drugged. Apparently, what they gave you made you talk more. I don’t think you could lie like that,” Uryū said.

Ichigo stared at his hand where it was gripped in Uryū’s hand. He took a breath and nodded once, unable to look up at him because he was afraid of what he would see. He was afraid of the rejection that he thought would be coming. He was afraid of what Uryū would do now that he knew.

“Oh, Ichigo,” Uryū said, reaching up and cupping his face with his other hand while he held onto his hand. “Why didn’t you say something?”

“It wouldn’t matter. Nothing can come of it.”

“Why say that?” Uryū asked and Ichigo looked up and caught his eyes. Ichigo didn’t see the rejection he feared.

“B-because. We’re friends. H-how can I have these kinds of feelings for a friend?” Ichigo felt his face flushing darker under Uryū’s hand where it rested against his cheek.

Uryū’s face softened and he sighed. “Ichigo, I care about you, too, you idiot.”

“What?” Ichigo said, not sure he heard him right.

“I’ve always cared for you. Ever since we first met, there was something there, but I didn’t think you’d ever feel the same way. I’ve thought a lot in the last couple weeks while we were looking for you. I’ve thought about what I should say to you, and then when Rei called me and said what he said, I made the choice. I wouldn’t hold back anymore. I wouldn’t hide anything because there’s no time to waste no matter what,” Uryū said and Ichigo turned his face into Uryū’s hand.

“B-but what he did…” Ichigo managed, feeling the prick of tears behind his eyes.

“I don’t care what he did. It doesn’t matter to me. You went through something horrible, and that’s all that matters. I want to help you through it. I want to help you deal with everything that happens because of it,” Uryū said and put his other hand on Ichigo’s face. “Don’t look away, Ichigo. Don’t ever look away from me, please,” he begged.

Ichigo put his hands over Uryū’s and felt a tear slip from his eye. “But I’m still sorry. What he did, what I did…”

“Hush, now,” Uryū said, thumbing away the tear. “Don’t be sorry.”

“But he-he made me—” he started.

“It’s okay, Ichigo, it’s okay, I promise you that. No matter what he made you do, you didn’t want to do it, and he _made_ you do it.”

“I never said yes,” Ichigo said, gripping Uryū’s hands. “No matter what he said, no matter what he did, I told him no. And he asked me so many times. Again and again, and I told him no. He would get mad that I wouldn’t agree to anything, but it didn’t matter. I never said it, I promise!”

He felt like Uryū had to understand that he never said yes, not even once. He had to know that he never wanted one bit of what happened to happen, even as drugged as he had been. He had to know that what happened hadn’t been enjoyable even when he made it feel good to him.

“Don’t worry, Ichigo. I know that, okay? I know it. I know you never wanted what happened. I know that, so you don’t have to worry.” Uryū leaned forward and pressed his forehead against Ichigo’s. “Please, I promise, it doesn’t matter what he did. I know that.”

Ichigo sighed, feeling Uryū so close to him. He could still feel tears threatening him, but it was a little better. “I’m not sure what to do now.”

“Let me help you,” Uryū said softly. “You don’t have to do it alone. I won’t leave you alone, I promise. Just let me help you.”

Ichigo suddenly put his arms around him, pulling him closer and burying his face in Uryū’s shoulder. Uryū reacted and clutched him tightly in return. He didn’t cry, though. But he just needed to feel him, to feel someone’s warmth against him. He didn’t need to cry because Uryū was here and Uryū was going to help him.


End file.
